Check out this collection of 10 fictional creatures with pretty awesome facial hair, from Disney to Tolkien. Maybe you’ll get inspired.
With his white beard and read hat, he looks like Jacques Cousteau. But he was no aquatic explorer. Standing only three apples high, his beard made him unique in a sea of tiny blue faces and gave him the gravitas to lead the troupe. Add to that mastery of magic and alchemy, and you have the ultimate alpha male in a fantasy cartoon woodland setting.
The strange little creature with the gigantic mustache was Dr. Seuss’s angry answer to environmental and economic issues. He was the “voice of the trees,” but it’s a wonder any sound got past his prodigious lip curtain. ironically, the pro-environment/anti-industy book eventually spawned a #1 box office hit and partnered in an ad campaign with Mazda. But that mustache, though …
TREEBEARD, LORD OF THE RINGS
The Lorax would like this guy. “Do not be hasty,” says Treebeard. Though not technically a tree, let’s not kid ourselves. Tolkien’s Ents in Lord of the Rings are big, talking trees. Since they live so long, they attain great wisdom and see the long tail of history. The best way to convey that visually is with a long beard, hanging like a weeping willow. Which leads us to the next character.
Even if he was a “scaredy cat,” Snarf had a beard for a very important reason: he was the trusted older advisor. Forget how whiny he could be. He saved the day when he needed to, and he was the right cat for the job. White beards have always conveyed wisdom, going back as far as literature in figures like Nestor in Homer’s Iliad. Never underestimate the old ones.
MONTEREY JACK, CHIP ’N DALE RESCUE RANGERS
A burly mouse with a ginger ‘stache, Monty’s face fuzz is more reasonable than the Lorax’s but still very robust and would make any human’s upper lip proud. The oldest member of the Rescue Rangers, he’s a tough, fun-loving Aussie with a bit of a temper but a deadly fear of cats. Typical tough guy.
UNCLE PECOS, TOM AND JERRY
Jerry’s uncle, a singing cowboy (cowmouse?) with the second-most impressive mustache on the list. Like any great cowboy, he’s as cool as they come, with his drawn down over his eyes. Unlike Monterey Jack, Uncle Pecos is decidedly not afraid of cats. In fact, any time a guitar string snaps, he just plucks one of Tom’s whiskers, restrings his guitar, and gets back to the music.
GENIE FROM ALADDIN
This born entertainer will sing you a thousand songs and grant a thousand wishes. Played by the late, great Robin Williams, he has a variation on a chinstrap beard, with a magical, improbable curl that no human could pull off convincingly. Prove us wrong and send pictures, and bonus points for that shaved-head-with-tiny-topknot, too.
METAL BEARD, LEGO MOVIE
Voiced by Parks and Recreation’s Nick Offerman, this pirate from the Oscar-snubbed blockbuster the Lego Movie doesn’t actually have facial hair, but we’ll cheat since he has a beard—made of metal. His large, almost robotic body was rebuilt from random parts following a failed attempt to defeat Lord Business. He’s a classic example of the tough, wary warrior who’s seen the monster and can prove to you just how dangerous the mission is.
SCROOGE MCDUCK AND FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD
It isn’t always clear when other people draw him, but when the legendary Carl Barks, AKA “the good duck artist,” drew Scrooge McDuck, he had a healthy set of mutton chops. His nemesis Flintheart Glomgold, however, had a full beard (sans mustache) and that was even exaggerated by other artists. These ducks only care about precious metals, and mainly gold. But we’re betting they’d still fight over the blue.
You want facial hair that’ll make you as memorable as these characters? Well, that’s up to you. But we’ve got everything you need to help you along the way, from beard washes and conditioners that are better than shampoo, to Beard Saver, the original beard oil alternative. From those first growing pains, to keeping fuller growth manageable and smelling great, we’ve been making the products you need since 2005.
Filed under: Pop Culture