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10 Unbelievable Facts About Ernest Hemingway

Posted by Bluebeards Original on

Check out these unbelievable facts about Ernest Hemingway and his awesome beard.

<hemingway-beard


JAMES JOYCE SET ‘EM UP AND HEMINGWAY KNOCKED ‘EM DOWN

hemingway-joyce

Ernest Hemingway used to go bar hopping with James Joyce, and when Joyce got into a fight, he’d call Ernest to finish it, crying out, ‘Deal with him, Hemingway! Deal with him!’ One time the other guy managed to land a shot right in the kisser, and Hemingway’s mustache shattered the poor guy’s hand in 17 places.

THIS IS OFF THE RECORD

guinness-book

The only reason Ernest Hemingway’s beard isn’t in the Guinness Book of World Records for its many accomplishments is that they’d have to rename it The List of Things Hemingway’s Beard Is Better At Than You. And that’s a book you could never finish writing.

HE WAS A SHARP KID

porcupine

When he was 3 years old, Hemingway killed and ate a porcupine. It turns out the death was accidental. When he saw the little thing he thought it looked cuddly, and squeezed it tight. It would’ve been alright, except that his beard came in exceptionally early, and the porcupine bled to death when the toddler’s stubble pressed clean through its quills.

THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA

EH1669N Pauline, Patrick, Ernest, John, and Gregory Hemingway with four marlins on the dock in Bimini, 20 July 1935. Please credit,
EH1669N
Pauline, Patrick, Ernest, John, and Gregory Hemingway with four marlins on the dock in Bimini, 20 July 1935. Please credit, “Ernest Hemingway Collection/John F. Kennedy Presidential Library, Boston.”

Hemingway broke several records as a fisherman, including setting the world record for most marlins caught in one day when he landed seven on his little boat. As it happens, he never even used a rod, instead tying a hook to one beard hair and making it grow and retract by sheer force of will.

FIGHTING FOR WHAT HE BELIEVES IN

EH4369P Ernest Hemingway in uniform, wearing a helmet, and holding binoculars during World War II. Please credit:
EH4369P
Ernest Hemingway in uniform, wearing a helmet, and holding binoculars during World War II. Please credit: “Ernest Hemingway Collection/John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston.”

While serving as a war correspondent during WWII, Hemingway impersonated a French colonel and took a small army into the city the day before Allied forces officially liberated Paris. He seized control of the Ritz hotel and set up camp at the bar. It turns out the French forces huddled up behind Hemingway’s mustache while he single-handedly punched out every Nazi in sight.

I’VE HEARD OF A THREE MARTINI LUNCH, BUT …

harry-truman

While president Harry Truman was vacationing at his place in Key West he visited Hemingway and stayed for lunch. One of Hemingway’s beard hairs accidentally fell in the soup and as soon as the president took a taste, he slumped over in his seat. He woke up the next day with a nasty hangover, and the Secret Service determined Hemingway’s beard had a hair alcohol content 300 times the legal limit.

THAT’S ONE KILLER BEARD

germs

Hemingway’s beard naturally killed 99.9% of germs. The other 0.1% it just toyed with.

A ONE MAN COAST GUARD

hemingway-u-boats

After the Germans began sinking American ships in the Atlantic, the US enlisted private captains to be on the lookout for U-boats and report back to the Navy. Hemingway outfitted his boat with sophisticated sensors and patrolled the waters off Cuba, armed with a tommy gun, some grenades, a gang of bullfighters and athletes, and one wicked beard.

HEMINGWAY THE BOXER

hemingway-boxer

Hemingway famously said, “my writing is nothing. My boxing is all.” Champion fighter Jack Dempsey toured Paris while Hemingway was living there as a young writer. He obliged many people who were keen to do a little friendly sparring, but, as he said, “there was one fellow I wouldn’t mix it with. That was Ernest Hemingway.” Some say Dempsey didn’t want to hurt him, but others say it was widely known that when you jabbed Hemingway, his beard jabbed back.

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END

hemingway-beard

Contrary to popular opinion, Hemingway didn’t kill himself. His beard warned him to put the damned razor down.

So how are you going to make your beard amazing? The first step is to keep it clean and fresh with Bluebeards Original. We’ve been in this business since 2005, before the other guys were old enough to grow beards. We specialize in high quality, natural beard care accessories that will tame the wildest and most unruly facial hair growths.

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Filed under: Beards in History, Sports & Celebrities