Here are 5 old beard-related ads that range from outright scams to ill-advised pseudoscience to just hilarious nonsense.
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Some people believe you can put something on your face to make a beard magically grow, and it turns out that isn’t a new idea. This stuff claimed that it could turn you from a babyfaced kid to a debonair European gentleman overnight. Notice that not only has his face changed, but the guy who used the “beard generator” even changed his clothes, switching to a sharp contrast lapel.
Some people hate shaving so much they’d smother their faces with mud and risk radaition poisoning, when they’d be better off just growing a beard. Could you imagine a doctor blasting your face with x-rays? Maybe it helped that he looked like Ernest Borgnine, but as much as I like McHale’s Navy, I like my brain more.
Here’s a rare, sort-of-positive, use of beards in beard advertising. “Whiskers belong on chins, not on ideas,” the idea being that beards convey age and tradition. It takes time to get there. But you should be willing to change your ideas. They picked a pretty sweet beard for the image, too.
This one is just painful, which maybe made it effective. Barbed wire on your face? Ouch. That tough imagery is paired with a rough reality for a lot of people, which is a thick, itchy, scratchy beard. We feel you, barbed wire dude, but you’d be better off with a little Beard Saver, the beard oil alternative.
This is our favorite because it’s just so ridiculous. The 60s were a strange time. All this time we thought hippies brought facial hair back in a big way, but maybe they were just slapping on mail order beards, mustaches, and sideburns. Guarantee nobody was ever fooled by this stuff.
You can forget about most of that stuff, but remember that beards DO belong on chins. And when you let it grow, whatever style of facial hair you have, we have what you need. From those first growing pains, to keeping fuller growth manageable and smelling great, we’ve been making the products you need since 2005.
Filed under: Beards in History