Classic Hollywood Beards: An Alternative History

Jul 13th 2016

Classic Hollywood Beards: An Alternative History

We wondered what classic Hollywood stars might have looked like with beards, so we mocked them up ourselves.

Cary Grant. Mr. Sophistication. The kind of guy who wouldn't start a day without a little time under a straight razor. We can see why with all that frizz. If we'd been around in his day, we could have helped him with a 2 minute weekly dose of Wonder Beard Intensive Repair.

Dean Martin is always smooth, even when he finds himself bridging the gap between Van Dyck and Zappa. He looks like he should be wearing a seersucker suit and a straw hat, with a mint julep in his hand. That might give him a hankering for something in the Fresh Mint Collection.

James Dean might be a brooding Russian novelist or a salty captain. If that were the case, he might find himself drawn to Original Beard Wash with lime oil to stave off that scurvy.

Jimmy Stewart bears a striking resemblance to 80s Surgeon General C. Everett Koop. This bristly chin curtain is just what the doctor ordered, but don't forget a little Original Beard Saver to fight the itch.

Marlon Brando could have played a mean Wolverine, if the X-Men existed in his day. But he was probably out working on his bike, getting grease in his chops. But beard wash just didn't exist back them. The horror, the horror!

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