Five Kinds of Facial Hair and the Men Who Made Them Famous

Apr 6th 2016

Five Kinds of Facial Hair and the Men Who Made Them Famous

We all know the traditional facial hair types. The Van Dyke. The Mutton Chop. The Guy Fieri. (Forget that one.) But there are some lesser known types that deserve their own names and wider recognition. Let's take a look at five beards throughout history.

The Shakesbeard

Sort of a chinstrap meets a slight handlebar with no connectors. That's one way for an Elizabethan actor to get out of playing the lady parts.

The Albert Einstache

Grow a mustache that sits across your upper lip like a fat caterpillar, then as you age let it get ever so slightly thicker till it looks almost Seussian and threatens to hide your lips.

The Beardley Cooper

Never let it get past the stubble phase. Spend every day looking like a businessman on a three day weekend.

The Goatee C.K.

Your standard goatee, but worn in direct proportion to the hair you've lost on top. Works especially well with black t-shirts and palpable self-loathing.

The Allen Ginsbeard

Howl like the wolfman! Just let that baby grow and don't trim a damned thing, man! "I saw the best beards of my generation destroyed by electric razors …"