Have You Seen Me? Beard Today, Gone Tomorrow

Sep 20th 2016

Have You Seen Me? Beard Today, Gone Tomorrow

With presidential politics in the air, let's open this up with an oldie but a goodie: have you ever seen a bearded Bill Clinton?

The potential future First Fella was all hippied out long before he became president. It's a shame he didn't bring it back in retirement, at least. He actually kind of looks like Grizzly Adams with that thing. But while Bill was better known without facial hair, some people are better known for beards and even more unrecognizable without 'em. Here's a half dozen formerly hirsute guys who we'd rather see sporting beards again.

First up, it's the missing son from that famous painting, American Gothic. You know, the one with the old farmer and his a plain looking woman. (Is she his wife? his daughter? a milkmaid?) This guy could fit right in.

But wait just a minute. Believe it or not — and really don't — this is the guy who plays Daario Naharis on Game of Thrones. The guy Khaleesi keeps around as a sex toy because she can't get enough his bearded bravado. Unbelievable.

Look! Kevin Smith was just a chubby Hank Azaria in a hockey jersey the whole time. Who's going to play Silent Bob, now?

Back to Game of Thrones for this one. It's Jon Snow himself, Kit Harrington. While his name makes him sound like an American Girl doll or the heroine of a young adult novel set on the frontier, we'd all recognize the Lord Commander, Ned Stark's bastard, right?

But what's this? A young Glenn Danzig with jaw reduction surgery? Brandon Lee's stand-in from the filming of the original film adaptation of the Crow? An aging goth kid who can't move on? No. It's actually a clean-shaven Kit Harrington, who's even beginning to look like an American Girl doll. You grow nothing, Jon Snow!

It may surprise you to learn that pitcher Koji Uehara once had a beard. I mean, this is the guy who said the Red Sox playoff beards were "nasty," and not in the good way.

Sorry, Koji, but you're not intimidating batters with this look. Should have stuck with the beard.

Opening up the music category is the most radical change. Here you have beatboxer/reggae singer Matisyahu, known originally his Orthodox Jewish look, with the long beard and everything.

When he shaved he turned into a completely different person. Even his hair color changed. It was so extreme that he recently sang an impromptu duet with a fan in Hawaii who had no idea who he was. On the plus side, he has been known to grow his facial hair back again, and there's no beard better than a grizzled gray beard (unless, of course, it's a Bluebeards Original beard. Those are always the best.)

We're cheating a little bit here, because Paul McCartney is better known without a beard, but just check him out here in his 70s glory? Bring it back, Macca!

And finally, since we're in football season, who the heck is this supposed to be?

Ryan Fitzpatrick?! Seriously?

At least Fitz had sense enough to trim it and not ditch the bearded lifestyle completely.

Look, we get reinventing yourself or changing up your look, but there's no need to go and abandon your beard completely. Just know that we got you covered from scruff to full beards.