Movie Santas We’d Like to See
We don’t just make great beard products—from washes (that are better than shampoos) to lotions and conditioners—; we’re also big fans of Christmas and movies. So why not put those three together and see what we can come up with?
With Christmas comes Santa, and with Santa comes a great beard. This got us thinking about four actors who (at least sometimes) have facial hair. They’re all iconic actors who work with great filmmakers, and the movies kind of wrote themselves.
THE CHIMNEY SWEEP
A Coen Brothers film, starring Jeff Bridges
Part scewball comedy, part noir, part heist flick. A chain-smoking department store Santa is unwittingly given the combination to the store safe on the back of a kid’s Christmas list. The gang planning the heist is hot to get the combination back, while “Santa” has his own reasons to steal the holiday loot.
A Martin Scorsese film, starring Robert De Niro
A notorious crime boss is targeted by rivals while dressed as Santa to deliver gifts to poor kids at the parish church. After a failed attempt on his life with a number of young casualties, he stalks those responsible in the bloodiest night of revenge in the city’s history, hell-bent on giving worse than he got.
“Rudolfo had a wonderful system for roasting the chestnuts.”
12 DAYS OF RETRIBUTION
A Quentin Tarantino film, starring Samuel L. Jackson
A man with a mysterious, longstanding grudge against a prominent business executive sets up near his offices as a Salvation Army Santa. A series of seemingly insignificant events in the small moments of their interaction over 12 days come together in flashbacks to explain both their surprising connection and his final masterwork of brutal revenge.
THE GREAT HARBOR VALLEY CENTENARY
A Wes Anderson film, starring Bill Murray
A boy who grew up in an orphanage in the small New Hampshire town of Great Harbor Valley models his life on memories of the volunteer Santa who visited the orphange in his youth (“He was the only person who ever made me feel loved.”). He builds a billion dollar toy empire and returns in time for 100th annual family-only Toboggan Race, in which he could never compete. With his 27 adpoted children (specially chosen for the race), he plans to field 9 teams of 3. But one of his ringers has other plans.
So how’d we do? Got one of your own? Let us know!