March is coming to a close, and we like to say, "so don't go out like a lamb." And by that we mean buy more Bluebeards Original and keep that mane looking right. So just for fun, here's a handful of animated lions who could compete in your local beard championship. But if they were running in the current presidential race, which one would eat up the competition and come out on top and the leader of the pride?
First up is Aslan. But not necessarily from the Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis. We're talking about the South Park version who was more king of the dad joke than king of the jungle. "Go on. Pull the thorn from my paw. Ho ho ho!"
If you're old enough you just may remember this little-seen Looney Tunes character: Leo the Lion beard. This cat was not the brightest bulb, and when he matched wits with fellow dullard Beaky Buzzard, neither one came out on top. But he had that classic Scottish deal and an accent to match.
Disney's new Zootopia features a mayor who looks pretty intimidating here, but he's billed as the noble leader. Whatever the case, I think a lot of guys would envy a beard like that.
Now here are real cats with beards throwback to another time: Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har. Hanna Barbera was known for goofball characters, parodies of popular shows, and terrible puns, and Lippy's pal is as Hanna Barbera as a character gets Get it? A laughing hyena named Hardy Har Har, but he never laughs? Lippy is the happy-go-lucky one always out for a get-rich-quick scheme. You can bet it never worked out.
You knew this was coming: Scar and Mufasa from the Lion King. The odd thing here is that neither one seems to have a beard-like mane. At best Mufasa has a neckbeard. In the real world, and on most cartoon lions, the muzzle isn't that pronounced and separated from the mane. So we'll count these as half a beard each, with a slight advantage to Scar for his clear, pointed chin whiskers.
And now it's time for a vote:
So maybe they weren't all so cool, but there's one thing you'll never see these cats do, and that's shave. Because if there's one important lesson we'd like to leave you with it, it's this: you came in like a lion; don't go out like a lamb. Shaving is for sheep.